How to Communicate
Learn everything you need to know about how the Dutch communicate
Verbal, direct and open
The Dutch are highly verbal communicators. Precise communication is important to them and they have a dislike for vagueness. They tend to put their whole message into words and will assume you to do the same. Don’t expect a Dutch person to read between the lines!
Dutch people are quite direct in their contact with others and use ample eye contact. In fact, they are direct to the point of seeming rude or unsociable, although it is rarely intended that way. Rather than be flattered, they respect frank criticism.
In contrast, the Dutch would not chastise someone in public and are not very good at saying ‘No’. They may prevaricate or predict insurmountable problems instead. Also, they have a dislike for expansive, over-the-top gestures.
Sharing your opinion
The Dutch are okay with verbal conflict and they don’t fear that confrontation may damage a relationship. They prefer to discuss conflicts of view openly at an early stage, which they regard as constructive and necessary to avoid problems in the near or distant future. They will expect you to give your opinion too, unprompted and without sugar-coating. If you don’t play by this rule or expect them to read between the lines, be prepared for a surprised or slightly irritated ‘Why didn’t you say?!’
In Dutch culture, it is common to share one’s opinion, even when it is not asked for. Hence, the Dutch are sometimes regarded as ‘busybodies’. You can expect a Dutch friend to stick up for you when you are being wronged. Dutch people are happy to help others, though this characteristic can also be experienced as annoying.
Complimenting each other
When walking down the street, one might hear things like “topper!”, “lekker bezig!” or “goed gedaan!” These all mean “good job!” in one way or another and this is because the Dutch are very complimentary people. It is fun to give, and to receive compliments and the Dutch do it all the time. These aren’t just empty words, all compliments are genuine, showing sincere appreciation. However, the Dutch are quite modest people and excessive praise is often avoided, as it seems insincere. When complimenting someone, keeping it simple and authentic is key. By learning a few of these kind words, your confidence will definitely skyrocket, whether you use them or hear them from someone else.
Read more about Dutch compliments
